What great teams feel like

I reflect on myself almost every day.

I’m not sure whether everyone does this. I’ve done it for so long that I don’t always notice when I’m doing it anymore.

These days, it isn’t about berating myself for what I’ve done “wrong” or haven’t achieved. That was the narrative for a long time. Now, it’s about understanding what has changed, how I’ve progressed, what I would do differently, and where I need to pause and say, “Well done.”

I love learning. I love problem-solving. And, despite how uncomfortable it can feel, I love trying things that push my boundaries.

This year has asked me to trust myself, extend my capability without fear, and move in a new direction without knowing exactly where it would lead.

Perhaps that is why endings bring such deep reflection.

I’m now in the final week of one of the most challenging projects I have ever worked on — my first large project as an independent consultant, in a new industry and well outside my knowledge area and comfort zone.

And I thrived.

Not on my own.

What stood out most was the quality of the collaboration. Many of the women I worked alongside demonstrated extraordinary emotional intelligence, generosity and humility, and several of the men did exactly the same.

What united them wasn’t gender. It was the absence of ego.

They cared more about finding the right answer than getting the credit. They led with a desire to do what was needed, what was balanced and what worked for the people.

When I was sinking, they nudged me back to myself — and I did the same for them on more than one occasion. I felt supported, trusted, capable, validated, needed and useful, even on the days when pushing through was hard.

I am particularly grateful to the women who showed up with that spirit, and to one man who knows exactly who he is. Together, they reminded me what great teams feel like.

There are a few lessons I want to carry forward.

Trust yourself more. I was surprised by my own ideation on this project. It wasn’t cyber; it was a completely new industry. But it reminded me that a business is fundamentally a combination of people, tools, processes and outcomes. Whatever a business sells still has to be delivered. When the promise and the delivery do not match, the outcome will not be achieved.

The principles really are that simple, even when the work is not.

Nurture the people and they will solve the problem. Everyone arrives with their own pressures and baggage. When you listen, encourage and include people, they show up for the problem many times over. When you don’t, the problems only get bigger.

Pace yourself. I process and ideate quickly, and I have had to learn that others do not always work at my speed. Giving people room to move at their own pace also gives me space to test the thinking and refine it without ego, but with vulnerability and courage.

Listen to the people. They will tell you what is wrong and, very often, how to solve it. Point them towards the outcome, create the conditions for them to contribute, and they will help lead the way.

I will keep drawing on what I’m learning through my psychotherapy training as I work in change management and transformation. It is helping me understand not only how people move through change, but how I do too.

I would work with this experienced, funny and talented group again in a heartbeat. They inspired me to think harder, try another angle, pivot when needed and do better. I miss them already.

So, for anyone pivoting, adapting or stepping outside their comfort zone: take time to reflect. Write it down. Say it out loud. And remember to say “well done” to yourself.

The biggest lesson I’m taking with me isn’t about process or transformation.

It’s that extraordinary things happen when talented people feel trusted, safe enough to challenge one another, and united around doing what is right rather than being right.